What if I could float?

soap-224000_150I’ve been thinking and it has come to my attention that floating could be a very useful ability. I mean walking is great, but imagine the wear and tear you could save on your body if you could just float everywhere you wanted. Maybe my knee and ankle pain would even be a thing of the past.

Those early morning. half asleep trips to the bathroom might be a lot safer if I didn’t have to worry about tripping over my own feet. That first trip downstairs would be less of a nuisance. Just float down to the bottom and into the kitchen for that first cup of coffee. Continue reading

What if I could “clear the mechanism”?

There was a Kevin Costner movie a few years ago called For Love of the Game. It starred Costner as an aging MLB pitcher for the Detroit Tigers nearing the end of his Hall of Fame career. He was pitching what might be his final game in enemy territory at Yankee stadium. Anyone who follows baseball knows that Yankee fans are very loud, especially on their home turf. Costner’s character was able to free his mind from any of the outside distractions or noise using a technique I always admired and sometimes wish was an ability I possessed.

Pitcher Billy Chapel (Costner’s character’s name) would lean down before his pitch, take a moment and close his eyes while thinking to himself the phrase “Clear the mechanism”. When he reopened his eyes the only thing other than himself that was on the field was the catcher. There were no other players, umpires or even a batter. Also there was no noise. The fans were not a part of the equation any more. It was just him throwing the ball wherever he wanted and the catcher catching it. It didn’t matter how loud the fans or opposing players were, they had no effect on his effort.
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What if we had a 24 hour Good News Network?

Welcome to AGNN, the all good news, all the time network!agnn

How often do you hear someone say “I don’t watch the news. It’s always depressing.” or “They never report anything good, only the bad things.”

I have even been known to utter these phrases myself a few times. Still I find myself tuning in, hoping they finally found that lost airplane or a few survivors from that terrible landslide.

I listen as the anchors talk about the latest killing or drunk driver running down a pedestrian. I’m still there when they mention the latest deaths from a bombing in a country I’ve never heard of and again when they relay the story of a malnourished child whose parents had locked in their room for days all alone.
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What if you were invited to Foolishlandia?

mvchallengeThe what if writing challenge has been suspended, but the new Multiverse Fiction Challenge is just getting started. This month you are invited into the universe of Foolishlandia, a place just as crazy as the name makes it sound.

Come on over to the new challenge site and follow, comment or add your take on the latest challenge prompt. Twice a month we will be hopping to a new universe and seeing the way other worldly beings spend their lives.

With your help we can explore the multiverse together. What secrets will we uncover and what exciting stories will we tell? Come on over and lets get started on our journey!

What if I could travel through time?

"The Time Machine!" by Chaotic Good01

“The Time Machine!” by Chaotic Good01

The concept of time travel is anything but new. It has been a subject of countless stories, books, tv shows and movies for many, many years. My childhood would have never been the same if not for the likes of Land of the Lost, Back to the Future or Quantum Leap. These stories helped to spur the creative genes inside my soul and made me believe most anything could be possible. This week time travel is the subject of the weekly writing challenge from the daily post. They are calling it time machine and want to know our take on the concept of traveling trough time.

I for one have always been amazed at the creativity involved in the show Quantum Leap. The idea of hopping into the lives of others, having to become a completely different person while trying to maintain or better their lives without losing yourself was amazing to watch. On the show Sam had Al to help him find his way and hope for the eventual leap home, but it always seemed lost.
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What if you could choose a birthday present for me?

recreation-25737_150You have two days to make your choice. If you could think of anything to give to the blogger who brings a little humor and entertainment into the world through this site ,Okay, What If?, JED’s Playhouse and the recently launched Multiverse Fiction Challenge what would you choose?

I expect something really nice, especially since it is going to be a blogging world gift only and its for the big 4-0. I don’t think I have ever revealed my true identity (or should I say alter-ego or maybe secret identity to make it sound even cooler) so you don’t need to worry about shipping charges or where to send it, just tell me what you think I deserve. Please be nice about it though. I am a bit stressed already from gaining a new number at the beginning of my age and not just the end.

baby-25388_150A little about me to help you choose. I have a loving wife I enjoy spending lots of time with and our family includes a total of three dogs and a cat. I’m a guy who likes a lot of silly things including comic books, horror movies and cartoons. You will probably never catch me on a motorcycle or in a speed boat but I enjoy the occasional nature walk. I love watching sports and am a pretty big Red Sox fan and NASCAR enthusiast.

The big birthday bash is going to start tomorrow night at about six. The get together will include hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, ice cream, cake and a few alcoholic beverages. Please be prepared to watch me stumble around drunkenly after the 9 o’clock hour. Bring your own barf bag if you are unable to maintain your composure.

So let’s hear it. What do you think a good fortieth birthday present is. Remember, these are the last days I can truthfully say I’m in my thirties. After Sunday I’ll have to lie about it, which I’ll probably do for a while.present-147168_150

 

What if I’m never old enough to know better?

I grew up with two older brothers and watched on many occasions as mom and dad would tell them “You’re older, you should know better.” It was my being younger that was like a get out of jail free card every time we did something to get into trouble. I would sit back and watch, giggling to myself as my brothers were reprimanded. Every time one of them would point at me or mention that I was involved then we got to here my favorite line “He’s just following you, you are old enough to know better.”

head-148207_150I’m not sure how many times I heard this as a child, but it was probably in the double, maybe even triple digits. Of course the downside of this was my brothers resented it and didn’t want me involved in anything they were doing. They knew even if it was my fault I would never get punished as severely as they did.

Now I am much older and the thought occurred to me recently “What if I’m never old enough to know better?” What if by not getting into the same trouble as my siblings I never learned when I was doing wrong? I know that robbing a bank is wrong, but sometimes the little things I’m not as sure of. I seem to never know when to just keep my mouth shut. I sometimes have the worst timing when it comes to saying certain things.

It’s built into me to constantly try to annoy anyone else in the family. Whether it be by making an annoying noise, a silly gesture or joke or just repeating something someone else says. I continue to do it even once I’ve annoyed the other person all the way to anger. It’s still funny to me even though they are fuming. It feels wrong but I guess I’m just not old enough to know for certain.

So when is it going to happen and how will I ever be sure? Am I destined to always be the younger brother who is not old enough to know better? Is this a curse I must always bear? Why did my parents do this to me? What I once thought of as a useful tool of my youth is now a hindrance in my adulthood.

Of course the more I think about it, the more I realize that maybe I never want to be old enough to know better. Maybe it’s my way of holding onto my youth. Besides, I’ve made it this far. A few more years of not knowing any better shouldn’t be a problem.