What if I was too old/too childish to enjoy the Simpsons?

I was born in 1974 and spent my early years watching every cartoon I could. My afternoons were spent with the Transformers, G. I. Joe and Scooby-Doo. My Saturday mornings were always about Spider-Man, He-Man and sometimes, yes I admit Josie and the Pussycats. I still know every Smurf’s name and sometimes speak in cartoon tongues (you know, things like “want a Scooby snack” “be very quiet, we huntin rabbit” and “wonder twin powers, activate” at the completely wrong times).

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I grew a little older and as a budding adult was introduced to the town of Springfield and the Simpsons family. I spent many years hanging out with the wonderful people of this colorful world. There were a few times in life when I wished I could be as brave as Lisa, as mischievous as Bart, as unnoticed as Maggie, as forgiving as Marge or as clueless as Homer. I wished I could have a frank discussion with Comic Book Guy about the state of Super-Hero lore or spend a day with Otto and maybe share in his haze. An evening at Moe’s and a Duff beer with friends wouldn’t be a bad way to spend some time either.

homersimpsonEventually, I’m not sure when, I moved on. I decided Bart’s antics were not as humorous anymore and Homer was a bit of a dope (d’oh!-pe?). Saying things like “eat my shorts” “Don’t have a cow man” and “Why you little!” just felt weird. They just made people look at me funny and instead of the joy I got from my other cartoony phrases, I felt embarrassed. I decided these were better suited to TV land than the real world, although I do still occasionally use “Excellent!” while wearing a sinister grin and lightly tapping my fingers together.

There were many other places for me to visit now. The TV was filled with cartoons like Family Guy, American Dad and South Park. I have spoken a bit about my addiction to these ridiculously hilarious programs before. I am almost always in front of my TV on Sunday nights for Fox’s Animation Domination programming block and adult swim on the cartoon network is where my remote stops nearly every evening. I admit it, I’m an immature kid at heart. I can’t help it. After spending a day worrying about bills, work and everything else the day throws at me I need a little immaturity.

Recently I saw a few advertisements for FXX running a twelve day every episode marathon of The Simpsons. Something like 552 episodes back to back to back to…well you know what a marathon is I’m sure. I have spent a few evenings and mornings since this started flipping channels looking for something to watch. I have passed by the FXX channel several times and seen the Simpson’s playing. I have not felt the need to turn it there yet, even when I could find nothing else on.

homerThen a couple days ago, somewhere in the back of my mind, a little voice spoke to me and said “You will not tune in to the marathon. You will resist and be able to say you didn’t watch a single episode during the momentous twelve day event!” Since then I keep flipping past and wondering what did the Simpsons ever do to me? Why after they gave me so much enjoyment have I abandoned the folks of Springfield? I have no answers.

Have I become too old for their brand of humor? Did I just tire of it? Have the newer, raunchier cartoon programs spoiled me? Do I need my cartoon character’s to curse, make rude sexual comments and cause world destroying chaos? Again, I have no answers.

If the answer to any of these questions is yes does that mean I have grown too old for the Simpsons or too immature? Am I becoming dependent on raunchy, disgusting, derogatory humor? Is the world following along suit with me? After all think about the state of today’s entertainment, especially here in the U.S.. So many movies and TV shows are about more than the story. The amount of entertainment is measured by the total nude scenes, genitalia references or swear words and we are eating it up.

I’m not necessarily saying any of this is a bad thing, just a bit of my mind wandering for this evening. It’s about time for me to finish my thought’s though, American Dad just came on the Cartoon Network. I believe this may be the one where Steve orders a mail order bride and him and his friends try to get her to take her clothes off. Or maybe it’s the one where he trades medicine for booze with a meth head who later is shot after they all break into a young girl’s bedroom. Either way I plan to watch it again and leave Bart to his playing hooky or pranking schoolteacher antics.

Although I may not be watching the Simpsons today, it seems they are still very much on my mind. I kind of wish I could get a little advice from Marge right about now. I swear I’d refrain from replying “Ay, Caramba” if she would just tell me if I should be worried about myself!

haha

 

What if vampires participated in the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge?

The ALS ice bucket challenge is pretty much everywhere today and has even made it’s way into the town of Bon Temps where the True Blood series takes place. The locals felt they needed to get involved but decided to do it their own way.

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Bill was the first to take the challenge. He thought of it as a bit of fun for a good cause, but he prefers warm blood to the bucket of cold blood filled with ice. He challenged Sookie and a few others.

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Sookie was all for the chance to help out, but was too stunned by the blood to throw out her own challenge to anyone else. No one informed her the bucket would be filled with blood instead of water since Bill had issued the challenge.

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Lafayette was more than willing to be a dumper, but resistant at the thought of being the dumpee. He said he was way too pretty and not willing to chance ruining it. He was quite happy to be the one dousing Sookie though.

what if life was like The Sims?

JED:

This is a great, fun post about an entertaining subject. Sims life or life as a Sim. Hope you enjoy and check out Sare’s site for more great content.

Originally posted on New Teacher Life:

I absolutely love The Sims and I’m not afraid to admit it. However, during my many-an-hour of playing the game, I have always wondered if that is what my life is. A massive game of The Sims and, somewhere out there, there is a massive puppet master controlling us all through a computer.

So, what if life was like The Sims?

If life was like The Sims then…

…we’d all be rich, all the time. 

Unfortunately, in real life we can’t just hit the cheat button and type in motherlode. Though I do wonder what life would be like if money was never a problem to anyone. Then again, I live in a town where money isn’t a problem to them and, I’d hate to see a world like that.

…no woman would ever struggle to find a man. 

On The Sims, it’s pretty easy to fall in love. In…

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What if I added a new feature to the site?

I decided it was time to add a new feature to the site. A while back I did a post asking for others to send me their ideas for a What if topic and I would do my best to write a post based on their idea. It worked well and a couple fun posts came out of it.

Later today I will be re-blogging a fun What if post from a blogger who has been exploring her own what if scenarios on her site after finding inspiration here. Seeing her post about What if life was like the Sims? made me realize there are many subjects out there that could be explored that I don’t have knowledge to do. I have never played the Sims so I wouldn’t have any idea about life as a Sim, but reading someone else’s post about it was entertaining.

For those reasons I have decided to add a permanent feature where you can submit an idea for a what if topic or submit a post of your own. The feature is listed on the side of every page so you can get to it at anytime. This way you can have your post featured here on the site without needing to become an active author or editor of the site. Credit will always be given with your name and blog listed unless you wish to remain anonymous. You can choose to publish your post on your own blog before submitting or re-blog the post from this sight once published here.

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I hope to see some new great ideas and fun posts from this feature. Let’s see just how random we can get with a scenario started by a what if? Thank you to everyone for reading and being along for the ride.

What if super-heroes had a party and everyone got drunk?

Have you ever wondered what super-heroes do after they just saved the planet from destruction? How do they unwind after a long day of catching baddies? Do they go home alone, having no one to share the day’s events with?

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Well the folks at Anheuser Busch decided it was time to show a little appreciation for their sacrifices. They decided to throw a huge bash and invite every known super-hero for an amazing evening in honor of everything they do for the world. All the food, entertainment and beverages to be provided at no cost. Just a relaxing night of fun among super powered colleagues.

It was a winning idea for the Anheuser Busch company. They were able to associate their products with the super-heroes everyone loved and the amount of free advertising received from the media coverage was enormous. They leased out a football stadium, invited all known heroes and brought in truckloads of food and beer. Everything about the party was a huge success and the atmosphere surrounding was almost like an Oscars buzz. The heroes were led in on a red carpet  among photographers and hordes of fans.superheroes

A few hours into the night things began turning. The fact that some of these super-heroes did not get along or had grudges against one another was never considered. There was arguing among the guests as to whether certain “heroes” actually belonged. People like the Punisher, Spawn and Green Arrow were even asked to leave by the others, citing a true hero shouldn’t leave a trail of bodies behind. Needless to say they didn’t take it well.

There was scuffles and even a few brawls started up and the security was unable to diffuse the situation. How does one stop a pissed off, intoxicated, super powered being who can shoot fire from his eyes after all? They don’t and that created a major problem. Everyone outside the venue was cheering for their heroes while inside the place was being completely trashed. The chaos and destruction eventually could no longer be contained. It spilled over into the night causing panic among the spectators.

The panicking onlookers began to trample one another in an attempt to flee. It took members of the police and national guard to finally calm the situation but not before multiple injuries were suffered. The heroes were all told to disperse but were not monitored from there. Most made there way home without incident, but a few found themselves in additional trouble.

Wonder Woman crashed her invisible plane into the side of a mountain and was found unconscious and near death two days later when a hiker happened upon the scene. Luckily for her he took a new trail that day or she may not have survived. The recovery of the plane was near impossible due to the rough terrain and the fact that the debris was invisible.

Ghost Rider drove his fire covered motorcycle on a straight line for his lair and that was the problem. He didn’t take roads, just drove through anything in his way leaving homes, businesses and even highway interchanges destroyed and burning. Can you imagine waking up to a demon on his flaming motorcycle using your bedroom as his personal street? A few people no longer have to.ghostrider

It has never been confirmed, but there were rumors Batman broke into Arkham Asylum and was threatening the female inmates. He was said to have offered to pull out his bat dildo and go bat shit crazy on their privates.  Everyone was appalled by the behavior, everyone except the Joker that is. He was ready to take Bats up on his offer before Robin and Alfred were said to have dragged Batman from the facility kicking and screaming like a child.

Wolverine was spotted at a bridge underpass disoriented among a group of the homeless. He was stumbling around and slurring his words badly but let’s face it, this was probably pretty normal behavior for him. He always finds his way back to Xavier’s school eventually.

Spider-Man was hit by a transfer truck, leaving a large splatter mark across the windshield. Mr. Fantastic was trying to show off and tied himself in a knot that took seven workers and three days to untangle. Storm passed out and her dream led to Hurricane Ororo which destroyed several cities on the eastern US coastline. The Flash lost his balance during a cross country run leading to multiple severe pavement burns and more than twenty crashed vehicles from his three mile tumbling slide on Interstate 20.

For nearly a week after the party the super-villains were running wild. They took full advantage of the heroes recovery time by robbing, destroying and terrorizing the public. No one realized the bad idea the party was until it was too late. Most of these heroes had never drank alcohol or been able to attend parties before, so they were incapable of handling the new situation.

This one party left a fierce path of destruction in it’s wake, sent the publics appreciation of it’s heroes spiraling downward and almost put the Anheuser Busch company out of business after settling all the lawsuits involved. A few heroes disappeared, presumably going into hiding, not able to deal with the embarrassment of their antics.

There is always a moral or two when super-heroes are involved and this story is no different.

Do not mix alcohol and heroes!

Too many heroes can be a bad thing!

If you have a story you would like to share about the super-heroes drunken antics feel free to share it here. Thanks for reading.

What if The Walking Dead’s zombie stars were hounded by paparazzi?

Zombies are everywhere today. They are the real stars of one of the most popular shows on television, so why aren’t the paparazzi constantly trying for a candid pic? Why does TMZ never show any interviews? Is somebody getting paid off to keep quiet about the unsanitary antics of these stars?

Getting close to these Walkers should be pretty easy. If you just hang out long enough at the graveyard you are bound to spot one. The stories are all there and people want to hear about them. I did a little digging (pun intended) myself and found out some information that everyone will be astonished by.

Here are a few examples of what we could see if the paparazzi and Hollywood reporters would just do their jobs.zombiegirl

The stories of after parties and cast hook-ups the female zombie pictured here could tell you would make you laugh, cry and cringe. Did she spend a night with two of the show’s biggest stars? Did the drunken orgies include toothless zombies sticking severed limbs in unmentionable places? She is willing to talk if somebody wants to listen. How about it Hollywood Reporter, Variety Magazine or Entertainment Television?

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The food provided on set will disgust you. You wouldn’t believe what makes the cut and is laid out for the zombies. It seems the food is seldom cleaned and clothing is usually left on. There also is never any variety, just the same thing every day. I would have thought the budget for the show would provide for adequate meals for all involved, but the zombies will tell you differently.

It’s easy to see why they feel their contributions to the show are not appreciated. I’ve even talked to a few who have mentioned a strike. Could the show survive without it’s zombie stars? I don’t think so.

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The security on set is questionable at best. The zombie wannabes are always trying to get on the lot. You never see mobs of people dressed and acting like Rick, Daryl or Michonne and that should tell you something about the real stars of the show. There have been times where the only way to keep the mob out is for these actor’s to get involved. The mob of wannabe zombies roaming outside the filming locations are a sight most find a little scary, but what’s ever scarier is when one makes it on set. Some try to prove they could be among the shows greats by biting anyone involved in the show’s creation. On set medical teams are on constant alert according to my sources.

If I can find all this out you know the professional’s have access as well. Why the public is not given this information is anybody’s guess, but I truly believe that either the network or show’s creators are suppressing any news to make sure the zombies will never get credit as the true stars they are. If the people knew more about them and how important the zombies were to the show’s success they would realize it as well. Once they started asking for raises citing the show’s popularity, the profits would be cut significantly.

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These guys even claimed to have pics from the changing rooms of a few of the star zombies. They were willing to part with them for a sizable fee claiming I wouldn’t believe the photos and would be given exclusive rights. I admit the thought of seeing scantily clad or clothe less zombies is a bit intriguing, but I have a few morals and decided to let them keep these to sell to someone else. Still it proves my point the stories and pictures are out there.

When will the paparazzi decide these stories are too important to keep hidden? I feel it won’t be long before we see zombies being interviewed on Good Morning America and I am all for it. I think we should be on social sites astonished and angry after the zombie deaths just like we are with the human ones. Give them their due and a little respect. Zombie’s were once people too!

What if someone stole the moon?

Do you remember that scene in It’s a Wonderful Life when George says he is going to lasso the moon and give it to his date? Jim Carrey also attempted to pull the moon closer to Earth in Bruce Almighty as a romantic gesture, but in both cases the moon remained in the sky. Now it seems someone may have actually pulled off the feat and removed the moon! Where did it go?

Scientists are all baffled at what could have caused the night sky to become so dark. How could the staple of the night be missing? What disastrous effects will it have on the world?

Have you seen me?

Have you seen me?

There are so many ways this will effect everyone’s lives. The moonlight stroll trough the park is no longer an option. Blaming the full moon for all those weird things that happen some nights just won’t work anymore. Now the phrase “must be a full moon tonight” means nothing!

And those poor werewolves! After centuries of harnessing their true forms only under the light of the moon it has been taken away from them. How will they survive and defend their kind from those vicious vampires?

The conspiracy theorists have already started. Maybe the moon was never really there to begin with. Maybe it was just a government conspiracy to hide the truth, that a race of aliens had lost power to their ship and parked it in our sky until it could be towed. This took a few millennia, a bit longer than first anticipated. It was supposed to be long gone before humanity developed into intellectual beings.

That’s one theory. Another is that NASA began placing futuristic weapons on the moon starting with the first trip there and the organization had plans on world domination. Once the US government discovered this it shut down NASA quietly, only leaving an entity for show. It then destroyed the moon and the weapons it contained. The threat of other governments getting their hands on these weapons was just too great.

The theories can be debated for days but the simple fact is the moon is no longer there. Milk cartons have already went into production with pictures of the missing moon. Special notations have been added for possible appearance changes. The caption reads “sometimes appears as a full circle, half circle or crescent. Also can appear to be white, yellow, red or orange Not made of cheese as once suggested.”

If anyone has any info on the whereabouts of the moon please speak up. My understanding is scientists have already checked the other side of the world and behind the sun, the typical spots for the moon to disappear to with no luck.

The Werewolf community is asking for help. Promises to lower human slaughter rates.