What if we greeted one another with a slap?

I know a handshake is the normal greeting when meeting someone new. If they are close acquaintances or family you may even offer a hug or a quick peck on the cheek. These greetings have been around for many years and there is nothing wrong with them but I say we start a new movement.

I ask for support in my mission to bring about awareness for the slap effect. The next generation may want to prepare for the wave of the future where everyone will greet you with a slap to the face. I’m not saying it will be a full fledged, palm open, rare back and let loose slap that knocks the sense out of you. No, it will be more of a friendly, pay me some attention, know where you are and why you came type of slap.assistance-72834_150

This thought came to me recently while speaking to someone close about something important. I realized they had little to no idea I was speaking to them even though they responded and shook their head at me. All I could think about was giving them a good slap to the face to corral their attention. Then I thought that this should be the norm in today’s society.

With the amount of distractions in our world today it would solve at least some of our current problems. For every moment of clarity someone gives you they also ignore you at least as much if not more. The cell phone, tablet, laptop, video game or even the evil TV take away their attention and it’s about time we got it back!

Just think about it. How many times have you spoke to someone with the normal “Hi, How are you?” only to get the response “Huh, what. Oh. Ok I guess.” as the responding party is staring not at you but instead at the item in their hands? A quick slap as you were greeting them would solve this in a most efficient fashion.

“Hi, How are you?” Smack

“I’m good, I’m good. Where did you learn to slap like that? I think my unborn children just got a bruise!”

See. Instant conversation starter and you no longer need to worry about the device in their hand. Hopefully you slapped them just hard enough they dropped it and forgot about it.

Now of course the flipside to this new greeting is you are going to be on the receiving end sometimes as well. But guess what? You deserve it. You are just as guilty as everyone else of the half-assed greetings and not paying enough attention to the person wishing to greet you. A quick slap to the face and you will be at attention and ready to receive the conversation put forth in front of you.

This is a win-win scenario for all parties involved. Please join me in the wave of the future and lets make the slap the way to greet someone from this day forth.

***Disclaimer***
Slapping is only a suggested greeting technique. It is not intended for all situations. This site does not condone or endorse any type of domestic slappery or child care slappery. Please consult your family physician before starting any type of slapping dietary program.

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18 thoughts on “What if we greeted one another with a slap?

  1. *snort* —- for as much I as I appreciate the idea of a “slap greeting” – and wow, does it hold great appeal – I prefer the more vocal approach of ” Excuse me, but I wish to converse with you so please but down “said item” and pay attention.” If this doesn’t work, I walk away – no matter how urgent the message. Too flipping bad for them ;)

  2. All I can think of are those How I Met Your Mother episodes when Barney gets slapped . . . “Slapsgiving” . . . I could get behind this. I think it’s a great idea; you might get a better idea of how someone actually felt about you, based on the force of the slap.

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